I’ve skipped two weeks of weekly notes. I didn’t much feel like writing them in my current state. I may still backfill the missing weeks as I did start drafting them before realising I was forcing myself to do so.
Three weeks ago I mentioned having an insightful conversation with my psychologist who’s helping me with my burn-out. That has been on my mind quite a lot these past weeks, and it helps me see a different way of approaching things. I’m not there yet in terms of changing habits and behaviour but I’ve tested a few things out in practice that do seem to help.
This week and last week I started feeling more energy, and noticed I’m picking up a few things I had disengaged from, interacted more with my team, and found it easier to look further ahead. All without it feeling like more things to do, as it feels a lot less demanding than it did earlier.
This week I
- Had the weekly stand-up with our team. We’ve moved it to a different timeslot and I now look forward to it again, rather than as something I’d rather avoid.
- Continued trying to apply interstitial journaling, something I started doing last week, nudged by reading a book about writing and note making. It helps in my current state to more easily switch between things that I have energy for, as well as notice better when I should stop an activity and not continue on too long. Whenever I do this for at least part of the day, I notice how at the end I’m not exhausted and yet have done more than I thought. Done more not because I spent more time or worked harder, but because I’m following my energy with intention. Combined with the insights from my sessions mentioned above, this seems to be the start of helping myself to refind my balance.
- Participated in an afternoon session at the EU delegation in the Hague, organised by the team behind the intergovernmental data strategy. A good opportunity to catch up with a number of people and chat to the European Commission about the coming Commission period and what focus the data strategy may get. Also had a conversation with the project officer at the Commission who will oversee the project for the Green Deal Data Space, that I helped a client get involved in.
- Had the weekly client meetings
- Was very sad at the passing of a long time acquaintance
- Formally started a new contract with an existing client for an ongoing role. They had put out a public procurement tender, which I’d won. The first phase extends to the end of 2025 with possible extension until the end of 2027. It means that for the coming year I have enough work, with space left over to add smaller projects that interest me. Throughout the recent months of burnout I have always felt energy for the work at this client, and I welcome the continuation.
- Did the preparation for the weekly invoicing (to be done next week) asking everyone to ensure all the needed information is available.
- Had a meeting with my business partners at the level/from the perspective of shareholders. How all four of us have differing challenges ongoing or ahead, and how that shapes our view of the company, as well as what each of us intends to focus on in shaping the company in the coming months. It was a good evening, and had been too long since the last time we took a few hours away from the daily stuff and be candid about our needs and wants.
- Discussed how to move forward with the interprovincial ethics committee, both with the client and with my direct colleagues.
- Had a conversation with the national association of water boards and what a digital ethics committee might mean to them. They are contemplating such a move, and I shared some of our experiences at the provincial level, and what we ourselves learned from how other ethical committees in the public sector function and organise their work.
- Had the monthly reflection conversation with a colleague. A good way to figure out how my current mental state does and does not impact my current work.
- Took Y to her singing lesson / children choir.
- With E and Y went to Utrecht on Saturday for the start of children’s book week. We invited Y to select some books from the Broese bookstore at her leisure (while we did our own browsing too). After lunch in town we visited another bookstore.
- Spent most of Sunday reading, interspersed with a long walk with E around the neighbourhood. Also did some bookkeeping to finish up the tax returns for 2023 for my personal company,