I have thought a bit if I wanted to blog this, but here goes anyway. This afternoon we, being me and a couple of colleagues, organised a session on cooperation between organisations involved in youth care, and the role of ICT as an enabler for cooperation.

There were three presentations and a forum discussion afterwards. The presentations were by two people from outside the company, and by myself. At the end, as usual the presenters were thanked by the host, my CEO, and some gifts were exchanged. A bottle of wine, a bunch of flowers, and a gift certificate for a small amount. To all presenters,……..except me.

Just before the session started I had already noticed that there were only two bunches of flowers standing ready in the pantry, so I wasn’t really surprised. But I was a bit confused. Why did this happen? Who had decided this, and why? Over drinks the guests asked me why it was that they got something and I didn’t, other attending people asked the same. I had no real answer. One of the other presenters had other engagements later on, and could not take the flowers and the wine with him: he gave them to me, and thanked me for a pleasant discussion-filled afternoon.

Thing is, I felt pretty unappreciated for my efforts. On top of that it has been a strange view for all the other people present, to see me being skipped. I talked to my colleague who had arranged for the flowers etc., and asked how this came about. Turns out she merely assumed that gifts were only for the external presenters, as I was also on the organising committee, and gifts in general were only given to external contacts. Last time we did a meeting of this kind, she hadn’t been the one arranging the flowers, I had done it myself.

Lessons to take away from this:

• In the evaluation of this meeting make sure that the organizing script
  explicitly mentions thank you gifts for all presenters, both external and
  internal, for future events.
  
• Not everybody sees giving these little gifts as an expression of thanks and
  appreciation, but as a little show that is part of the routine in handling
  external contacts.
  
• Not everybody intuitively feels that it’s important to take time for
  thanking people.
  
• I feel unappreciated, not to say somewhat insulted, if an explicit thank you
  is withheld that I had ‘counted’ on based on earlier experiences.
  
• These kinds of things have to be used sparingly if meant as incentives in
  other parts of the workplace: one can come to expect them, and start feeling it
  is due.
  
• It is important to be appreciative to others because for everybody the next
  line holds true:
  
• I really like to be shown appreciation ;D

Oh, and yes: it was a very worthwhile afternoon, with good presentations, good discussion, and interesting conversations afterwards.